The Best Halloween Episodes On Modern Family

Claire needs the family's help to run Halloween smoothly at their house. Jay and Manny have fun at Gloria's expense, and the holiday brings back painful memories for Cameron.

Memorable Quotes:

Haley: [Wearing a tight nurse's outfit] You said get one of my old costumes.
Claire: Not from when you were eight. Do you want to get candy or Japanese businessmen?

Mitchell: There are exactly three people in costume here: a tool, a douche and me... and I don't have time to go home and change.
Cameron: Calm down. Did you bring in the dry cleaning from last night?
Mitchell: Are you really getting on me about the dry clean... oh, I have suits in the trunk!
Cameron: Look at that. Yesterday's lazy cures today's crazy.

Phil: When someone your age dies, what's the first thing you want to know? Died of what? You just want to hear if it's something that can't happen to you. Well, it's the same thing with divorce. Tell me it was booze, cheating, physical abuse, no problem. I'm a monogamous social drinker, and Claire only sleep-hits me. Just don't tell me it came from out of the blue.

The Dunphy's try to kick start Luke's Halloween party; Cam confronts his Halloween nemesis; Jay plans to go to a party at an old enemy's home to deliver an unforgettable trick.

Memorable Quotes:

Mitchell: Phil, are you okay?
Phil: I'm fine. Yeah. Hey, you know what the Beaver said when he slipped in water?
Mitchell: Damn it?
Phil: Damn it.

Cameron: You know what, Mitchell? That same little jerk grabs a handful of candy every year. He's my Halloween nemesis. There is a social contract. You say "trick or treat," you get one piece of candy. That breaks down, we're just a hop, skip, and a jump to a lawless wasteland where we use beads and teeth for money!

Mitchell: Cam, I feel terrible that you got hit with an egg, but you're ruining the night for Lily. Do you have to nurse every single grudge?
Cameron: I don't do that.
Mitchell: Are you kidding me? You have more archenemies than the actual Batman. How about that sales lady who helped you with the scarf?
Cameron: She implied my neck was the problem.
Mitchell: The Spanish teacher you've been working with?
Cameron: He calls me "locos frijoles" like I don't know what that means. It's "crazy beans," right?
Mitchell: Yes, it is. Oh, and don't forget about Andrew from your old choir.
Cameron: He stole my piano key scarf, which is why I had to go into the stupid scarf store to begin with!

Phil is determined to finally scare Claire on Halloween. Meanwhile, for the first time, Gloria is feeling self-conscious about her age when someone correctly assumes she is Jay’s wife; and Mitch and Cam head to the WeHo Halloween Carnival after Lily decides to go to her first Halloween party alone.

Memorable Quotes:

Gloria: [dressed as Elsa] Is it cold in here or is it just me because I am the Frozen Lady from Frozen?

Claire: Oh, how cute. You tried to scare me for Halloween
Phil: How in the world did that not frighten you? Some of this is my actual blood! I knicked myself putting it on.
Claire: Sweetie, you don't know the first thing about scaring people. It's all about plausibility. And you were awfully casual for a guy that just got an ax in the chest. You know, if you really wanted to scare me, you should have waited until I opened the closet and found you hanging by a necktie.
Phil: Excuse me! I killed myself?!
Claire: Yeah, totally plausible. I mean, you've been so happy all these years, the other shoe is bound to drop, right?

Phil takes over Halloween decorating duties from Claire. Jay is upset when he wants to dress up as Prince Charming but Gloria buys him a Shrek costume. Mitchell has a problem in court with the stenographer working in a scary costume.

Memorable Quotes:

Jay: Yeah, ouch. You do this every time. You go as a princess. I have to go as some freak. You're beauty, I'm the beast. You're Beyonce? I'm that guy.

Alex: Damn it! I cut my finger!
Haley: Ha, ha, happy Halloween.
Alex: No, really. I cut myself. Look!
Luke: That looks great. What'd you use to make the blood?
Alex: A knife. I'm actually hurt.
Claire: Great production value, sweetheart. I'm impressed.

Boy: What are you supposed to be?
Alex: Born into another family.
Phil: She is Tess McGill, feminist heroine from the 1980s classic "Working girl". You should check it out sometime. In a few years. There is some light vacuuming in underpants.

Claire tries to scare Phil on Halloween night, Cameron tries to show off his new slimmer body at his Halloween party, and Mitchell's white lie about Lily's mother gets him in trouble.

Memorable Quotes:

Claire: I was plenty scary. I used professional-grade makeup.
Phil: That's the point, Claire.
Claire: It was overkill.
Phil: You're the kind of person who can be twice as scary without wearing any makeup.

Manny: Nothing on purpose. It was between periods, right before this big test. I was clearing my mind by practicing some of my Gene Kelly dance moves.
Jay: As one does.
Manny: Right. And my umbrella accidentally snagged the fire alarm. The principal thought I did it on purpose so we'd miss the test.

It’s another epic Halloween full of costumes, tricks and treats for the Dunphy-Pritchett-Tucker clan as they deal with huge, unexpected news and the kinds feeling too cool for the regular family antics.

Memorable Quotes:

Phil: You know, I'm impressed you're still wearing that dress.
Cameron: Oh, well, I'm wearing two pair of Spanx and was on a diuretic for hours. As we say where I'm from, you don't teach your dog to play the banjo and then skip the talent show.

Jay: Ah, you make plans, the universe steps in and says "nope."
Phil: Life is so unfair.
Jay: Damn right. I just waited in a line around the block for a hoagie everybody's talking about. Then my ex-wife drops dead, and I'm too sad to eat it. I'll give it another hour.

Claire: I remember once Mom told me that I ate ice cream like a prostitute.